


Not sorry at all

by AtomwaveHeadcanons (ColdAtomHeadcanons)



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Guide!Mick, M/M, Sentinel AU, Sentinel!Ray, all the way back from season 1, another of my old works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:07:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8555002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdAtomHeadcanons/pseuds/AtomwaveHeadcanons
Summary: Finding your Guide is supposed to be a magical event. And surely it is, unless your name is Raymond Palmer. Ray stares at the guy who is a criminal and he wonders just what was the Fate thinking, making Mick Rory Ray’s true guide. Ray’s One and only. Ray’s hope and Ray’s future and the person that is supposed to be there for Ray forever. The person Ray is supposed to be there forever, the person Ray’s supposed to share a happy ending with.The guy gives Ray’s hopeful eyes one look before turning away, disgusted and snickering about whatever with his criminal partner. It’s dismissal, and Ray knows he shouldn’t but he still can’t stop the words from escaping his mouth. “You're just a pair of good-for-nothing criminals.” He’s hurt and there’s some deep instinct yelling at him, trying to hurt back. Even though he knows he’s going to hate himself later for it, because it’s his guide.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. I'm totally trying to make up for the lack of work with my stories from times long, long ago.

Finding your Guide is supposed to be a magical event. And surely it is, unless your name is Raymond Palmer. 

Ray stares at the guy who is a  _criminal_  and he wonders just what was the Fate thinking, making Mick Rory Ray’s  _true guide_. Ray’s  _One and only_. Ray’s hope and Ray’s future and the person that is supposed to be there for Ray forever. The person Ray is supposed to be there forever, the person Ray’s supposed to share a happy ending with.

The guy gives Ray’s hopeful eyes one look before turning away, disgusted and snickering about whatever with his criminal partner. 

It’s dismissal, and Ray knows he shouldn’t but he still can’t stop the words from escaping his mouth. 

“You're just a pair of good-for-nothing criminals.” He’s hurt and there’s some deep instinct yelling at him, trying to hurt back. Even though he knows he’s going to hate himself later for it, because it’s _his guide_.

But the words are true, Ray knows they are and it isn’t only because the man doesn’t seem to feel the pull, or care about Ray at all. Rory doesn’t even look at him from tending to his cursed gun.

“I can live with that.” The guy says, not stopping and Ray pushes down at the throbbing in his chest.

“Well, I can't.”

* * *

 

When Ray zones out after the fight in gulag after he’s injected with whatever thing that prevents him from really fighting with the prison mates, he wakes up to Mick standing next to him, the lighter on, staring at the flame and Ray feels shaken. All of his senses are still strung out, still much,  _much_  higher than they should be and he’s trying to tone them down to stop another zone from coming. He’s only half successful and it’s only then that he can really understand what Felicity meant by the zones being almost unbearable to stand with no guides on the Waverider. He was too hopeful then though, too bewitched with the idea of a unity with his true Guide to care though. He didn’t want to tell her and he didn’t listen to her warnings. He should’ve. Felicity was his guide for the longest time, she knew him better than Ray knew himself, probably. 

Ray pulls back from the overwhelming memories and instead tries to force his attention to the man next to him, to have his senses feel him and settle and it’s an hour or so until Ray can actually open his mouth. 

“You could pull me out of that zone.” he rasps out and Rory’s eyes still don’t move from the lighter. 

“Not my problem.”

It feels like rejection, hell, it probably _is_ one and Ray has to concentrate not to spiral down into another zone because of it. 

* * *

 

Rory and Ray aren’t a bonded pair. They are not really even a pair so Ray shouldn’t care - but when the man growls at the guard, when the guard moves to Mick the hammer rising up in the air, something in Ray snaps.

“Hey.” he calls, not looking over. “Can I get some water in here?” He asks and he can feel Mick’s eyes burning into him. But Ray’s mouth’s not stopping, babbling and taunting the Russian. 

He can feel Mick’s eyes widening more than see it. 

“What are you doing, Boy Scout?” 

“Yes, Boy Scout, what are you doing?”

Ray knows what’s coming. He’s mentally preparing for the pain even as he opens his mouth. 

“Nothing compared to what I did to your mother last night.”

“You have quite a mouth on you.”

Mick and Ray aren’t bonded. But Mick is still his Guide and the instinct to do this for him, even though Mick doesn’t need protection, is stronger than anything else. Perhaps it’s not just and instinct.

Ray  _wants_ to do this, bonded or not. 

“So does she.”

He yells out in pain when the first hit comes. Then the next and next, and he can see Mick tugging at his bonds - but soon everything goes dark. 

* * *

 

“Of all the dumb things I've seen in my life, you getting that guy to beat on you takes the cake.” The words are cold, insensitive, but they are still the thing Ray manages to focus on instead of the pain. They are still the thing that’s pulling him out and his eyes crack the tiniest bit open. 

“You’re welcome.” he rasps out. His throat is dry, his ribs hurt like hell and they are probably broken, but he’s not coughing out blood. So no pierced lungs, that is always good. Thank god for the little mercies.

“You think you proved something back there.” Mick growls, not looking at him and Ray allows his eyes to close again. He knows what Mick is asking, really. Whether Ray thought that him sticking out his neck for Mick made any difference. If Ray risking his life is supposed to mean anything to Mick.

Mick also made it pretty clear that he doesn’t care for anything Ray’s heart might long for. 

“Proved I wasn’t scared.” It’s not all that Ray wants to say, but he swallows the second part of the sentence. It wouldn’t help anyone, Mick’s actions made sure Ray knows that.

“Proved you make a great piñata. He could have beaten you to death.”

Ray wants to laugh. He wants to tell Mick that it doesn’t matter, because his own Guide, is own match made by the Fate wouldn’t care at all if that happened. That  _Ray_  wouldn’t care, because his world is already shattered like a glass around his feet. But he doesn’t want Mick to feel guilty by any chance. Them not working out is not his fault after all. It’s Ray’s fault, for not  being what Mick wanted him to be, what he needed him to be. 

“There are some things that are more important than survival, like standing up for what you believe in, your principles, your team.”  _Your Guide_. The thought hurts, and Ray can feel himself balancing on the line of unconsciousness and zone and he frowns, trying to force himself to focus on Mick again. Trying not to feel like he’s using Mick without his consent too.

“There must be something you’re willing to die for.” It’s not Ray - Ray’s not blaming him for that, but Mick and Snart seem to care about each other a lot. Seem to value each other’s opinion, seem like they are willing to make compromises for each other. Maybe that’s where the fate is wrong. She was supposed to make Mick into a Sentinel and Snart could be his guard. Or the other way around. 

“The perfect score.” 

“Well,” Ray sighs, his hand twitching on his ribs as he forces the words out of his mouth, “only difference between us is how we define ‘score’.” He can’t hold on the thread of consciousness any longer, the darkness too consuming and welcoming, so he lets his mind drop. It’s better than zoning out anyway. 

* * *

 

The next time Ray wakes, they are already back on the Waverider. Everything’s hurting, but he doesn’t feel shaken, doesn’t feel like his senses are exploding on him, like they are all out there and all around the place. He feels safe, feels almost comfortable, if it wouldn’t be for the pain and it takes him a moment or two to realize why. 

Mick’s sitting next to him, his hand hot on Ray’s own. It’s not the official, the _proper_ way of dragging someone out of zone. But it seems like Mick doesn’t even have the training and Ray’s not even surprised - and it still does the job. Ray’s not zoned out, he’s not over-focused on any of his senses upon waking up. 

He squeezes the hand lightly and Mick glances at him, before nodding. 

“Gideon can work on some of your injuries now.” Some, not all. Gideon must be afraid being too long in her care would spiral him back down into the zone, but at the moment, Ray feels like zoning is not something he has to be afraid of ever again.

He beams at Mick and the guy rolls his eyes. He doesn’t pull his hand back though, not even when Ray’s fingers curl around his own and Ray feels like it’s his birthday and Christmas at the same time.

Ray feels like it’s a small victory.

* * *

 

“Thank you.” Ray says when he’s handed the little glass. “And just so you know, I know you’re more than just a thief.” He's regretting ever saying that about his Guide, but he was so hurt with rejection that he wasn’t thinking clearly back then. 

Mick watches him for a moment, before lifting the glass to his lips. 

“You took a beating for me. We’re even. End of story.”

A smile slips on Ray’s lips and he nods. 

“Well, thank you.”

“More drinking, less feeling.” Mick grumbles and goes off to get them another drink. Ray’s too gone to notice though, because Mick said  _less feeling_ , which means there has to be  _some_ of it, and -

“Can you stop feeling so stupidly happy?” Mick huffs and he hands over a whole bottle. “Emotional bleeding is a pain in the ass.”

Ray’s eyes widen before a wide smile spreads on his lips. Emotional bleeding means opened bond. And if Mick feels that... His heart starts beating like crazy in his chest because this means a  _chance_ , chance to have what Ray always dreamed off, what he almost gave up hoping for and he tries to hide the grin behind his glass. 

“I’m sorry.”

A hand lands on the back of his neck heavy and warm, squeezing lightly and Ray’s eyes slip closed as the bond jumps to life and he’s flooded with  _everything._  

“No, you’re not.” The words are warm and hot and so much more, the bond making them feel on his skin lighter and softer than any possible kisses. 

Mick’s right. He’s not sorry at all. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me @ atomwaveheadcanons.tumblr.com


End file.
